“I Have A Nightmare.” Volume I, Chapter 1:

“Enslaved At Last, Enslaved At Last… Great Satan Almighty, We Are Enslaved At Last!”

In my sleep, I had a nightmare last night. And King Donald the 1st came to me, and said: “We have to build a wall, a high wall, a strong high wall, to keep us all safe. We have to do it… a wall across the border, across the Southern border to keep out the ill-eagles and the rap-ists. We have to secure our borders, we have to… we have to do it. And a wall across the Eastern border, to keep out the Aslamic Errorists. We have to do that as well… we have to. To safeguard our people, and keep them pure. And then we have to build a wall across the West, across the Western border, to hold back the Yellow Peril that is coming. Yes, we have to do it, for they are smarter than us, and they are surely coming if not today then tomorrow. We have to do it, to save our country, to save our fellow citizens, we have to… and finally, to fully secure our borders from the ill-eagles and the rap-ists and the Errorists, we also have to build a wall – the final wall, the Great Wall – across the Northern border. We have to, we have to do it, to protect ourselves completely from all possible enemies of our threatened Homeland, eh.”

“For I have a dream…,” said King Donald, and I thought to myself, ‘How strange, he is having a dream within my nightmare’. “I have a dream,” said The Donald, “and my dream is like unto a vision of the next world that is to come. And in that dream I am the greatest President of the United States, the one who makes America into a Great Country again. And to do that, we must build The Wall, a great wall, a wall so high and so strong that nothing can get over it, or around it, or through it… a wall that will keep out all our enemies, a wall that will strike fear into the hearts and minds of all the many foes we face in the world today, a wall that will astound and astonish even our allies. And when that wall is built, we can make America strong again… and we have to do it, so we can rid ourselves of the undesirable elements that have crept into our country while our dry backs were turned. To safeguard our way of life, we have to do it. To save ourselves and our posterity from those who would take advantage of our kindness and generosity, we have to defend ourselves against the ill-eagles and the rap-ists and the Errorists, both within and without. We have to, we have to do it…”

And King Donald’s hair began to wave at that point, to waft slowly in a gentle breeze, and a tune began to play in time with his waving hair, and the tune was similar to that old Battle Hymn of the Republic, but the words were different, and they went like this:

“Mein eyes have seen the Glory of the coming of the King!

He is building up The Wall to make us safe and strong again,

He will loose a fateful lightning on eleven million men…

so America keeps marching on!

Gory, gory, Constitution…

Gory, gory, Constitution…

Gory, gory, Constitution!

The Homeland marches on!”

And then, in my nightmare, I saw Pope Pious XIII (formerly known as Saint Michael Huccabe) float down from a nearby cloud, and say: “Woe, woe, a thousand days of woe upon the un-walled land. Repent thy sins, citizens of this once-great Republic, before it is too late! The Ill-eagles are already deep within the Body Politic of the un-walled land, and every day the poisoned talons sink their evil hooks into the sinew and bones of America! Heed wise King Donald, and turn away from the wickedness of foreign devils and domestic bearers of untruths! You have to do it, before it is too late!” And he strummed his electric guitar, and sang another verse:

“Mein eyes have seen the glory of the coming of The King!

We must build for him an altar where his mighty voice can sing,

so he can trample Unbelievers and America redeem…

His Truth is marching on!

Gory, gory, what a helluvaway to lie…

Gory, gory, what a helluvaway to die…

Gory, gory, what a helluvaway to lie!

While the Homeland marches on!”

Next:  Chapter 2, ‘TheOdor of Cruze’



“A Gun, a Gun! My Kingdom For a Gun!”

“You’re An Ignorant Idiot, and So Is the Idol You Drool On”

“Stand By Your WoMan, Even If He’s A Ho”

“Carry Me Back To Old Virginny:  Oh, Lord! I Wanna Go Home”

“A Ship of Fools In Uncharted Waters”

“Bury Me Not On the Lone Prairie – Personally, I Prefer Group Cremation”

“Why’s America the Beautiful So Ugly These Days?”

“How SEEININ and MS. INBESEE  All Try to Out FUX NEWS”

“Obituaries I’d Pay Money to See…”

“The Days of Whine and Roses – Why Congress Sucks & Who It Blows”


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