Now that the candidates for our two-party electoral system have been all-but-determined – except for a technicality called ‘party conventions’ – it’s time for The Donald and Billary to begin taking stock of how best they can man-ipulate and woman-ipulate the American public into voting for just one of them.
Billary’s major [dare I say it?] trump card is, of course, that she will be the First WoMan President to hold office in our country… the ‘My turn! My turn!’ effect, following upon the election of Barack Obama as First Black President to hold office in our country.
(Gee, wouldn’t it have been more efficient to have just elected Michelle in the first place? But I digress…)
Trump’s major trump card is just, of course, that he is The Donald… that Joker in the Republican deck of cards who has had the GOP establishment shitting gold bricks, in the form of SuperPacs for all kinds of un-electable boobs, since this Presidential election cycle first started. Call it the ‘I’ll say anything to get a headline and not have to spend my own money’ effect.
But since we’re not going to get serious candidates, then Let’s Get Serious, Candidates… both of you have a long ways to go yet in turning out the optimal vote during this year’s Quadrennial Turkey Shoot.
Trump’s hardcore supporters only amount to 35-40% of the GOP’s 25% of the general electorate, while Hillary’s portion of the Donkey Party’s 35% of the voting public is growing limper & looser every time Bernie opens his mouth… which means that the real Power-Behind-Everyone’s-Throne consists of what ‘independent voters’ will choose to do at the polls this year – with ‘Stay At Home’ looking better & better as an informed choice.
And so here is a modest proposal, which both candidates would do well to ruminate upon while digesting their upcoming General Election chances this Fall:
Since Candidate Trump’s poll numbers show absolutely dismal ratings in the category of Women Voters, despite how much he claims to love and cherish them all, and since many have long suspected Hillary Clinton as being a man trapped within a woman’s body… both current Presidential frontrunners should announce at their party conventions that, should they be nominated, they intend to seek a sex-change operation on their first day in office as President.
Imagine the headlines that such a bold move would immediately bring about. Political and Economic Revolutions would be superseded by the Gender Revolution… insipid Party Politics would be immediately overtaken by sizzling Sexual Politics… Outsiders would become Insiders overnight (and vice-versa)…people could quit worrying about the size of Donald’s hands… and voters in North Carolina and Tennessee could quit wasting taxpayer time & monies over who gets to use which bathroom, so that XXX porno can return unhindered across this great nation.
Men’s rooms/ women’s rooms/ and ‘Presidential Rooms’ could become the Executive Order of the Day… “Excuse me just a minute, I have to go visit the little President’s Room”… a coup d’tate, where ‘Separate, but Unequal’ takes place in all American toilet facilities.
Caitlyn Jenner for Vice President, anyone?