LET’S MAKE A DEAL

What a disappointment Donald Trump has turned out to be… all he seems to be able to do is tweet, tweet, tweet – like some demented little tweetybird – without being able to get the simplest things accomplished:

Putting Hillary in jail – the only one still likely to be “locked up” is ex-National Security Advisor Flynn (who only lasted 24 days in his Trump Administration position)…
Banning all Moslems from the US – the US Supreme Court decided anyone is welcome to come, as long as they have someone to vouch for them…
Pulling out of NAFTA – complete turn-about, after one phone call from Nieto & Trudeau.
Building a wall on the southern border & making Mexico pay for it – those two pipedreams are never happening. Congress and Mexico both Just Say ‘No’.
Repealing & replacing Obama Care – complete clusterf**k, first in the House; then, in the Senate. No viable compromise in sight.
Getting tough on trade with China – well, there’s this little problem with North Korea trying to build intercontinental ballistic missiles that can reach the US, see, and it turns out we need China to put the economic screws to young Kim, see, to get them to stop… See?

Some bigshot ‘deal-maker’ Trump has turned out to be – all teeth, bark & bluster. No bite.

He can’t even twist the tail on one Chinese bank, much less their entire country. (One that has REAL nuclear weapons, loaded on REAL intercontinental ballistic missiles, that really CAN reach the United States…)

Yeah, let’s piss THEM off, Mr. President.

Let’s insist that they cut-off all economic aid to North Korea – where they have long-standing treaties and mutual defense pacts – and force Kim to invade the South Koreans, or else use his nuclear weapons as a means of last resort.

That’ll work real good… if your underlying goal is to start WWIII. Fortunately, this administration doesn’t seem to have any underlying goals – all they know how to do is fly by the seat of their mouths…

So, here’s a few geo-political deal-making tips, Donald. Why don’t you try-on one or two for size & see how they work out:

1. Offer Kim Jong Un a Presidential Pardon for all his past & current crimes against individuals and humanity, a $1,000,000,000 annual stipend from the US government, future enrollment in the US Witness Protection Program, a fully-paid $10,000,000 deeded house in Palm Beach, Fla., and a new Buick to abdicate. (I’m sure he has nothing better to do…)
2. Offer to build the North Koreans a tremendous University, where all their currently starving children can go to school and learn to become big-shot real estate moguls just like you…
3. Offer to turn the country into a chain of tremendous Casinos, where people can come from all over the world to vacation at luxurious North Korean resorts & spas, while the former DPRK peasants and farmers learn the advantages of commercialism and free trade.
4. Ditto, only with tremendous Golf Courses.
5. Offer North Korea a $110 billion arms deal (similar to the one recently concluded with Saudi Arabia) to STOP picking on other nations in their region of the world.
6. Offer North Korea a $220 billion arms deal (similar to the one recently concluded with Saudi Arabia, only twice as big) to use their 1,000,000 man armed forces as paid mercenaries to START picking on other nations around the world, if the US doesn’t like them.
7. Offer personal economic advice on how to overcome large-scale financial bankruptcies, including your list of worldwide banks willing to cut shady deals.
8. Offer to host the next Miss North/South Korean pageant in Pyongyang, and pledge not to badger the contestants about being overweight, or call any of them ‘dogs’.
9. Offer to let Dennis Rodman stay in their country – forever – and teach them how to become the greatest basketball players in the entire world: the Kim Jong Un Globe Spotters.
10. Offer to send Jared and Ivanka over to North Korea as Good Will Ambassadors, to train them in the finer points of selling diamond jewelry and investment counseling.

After all, Kim Jung Un’s a “pretty smart cookie,” so “you gotta give him credit” – one of these Golden Tickets is bound to strike his fancy.

And that’s THE ART OF THE DEAL, right?

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