The Dumbass Excuse

“In retrospect, I probably would have done things a little differently.” – Donald Trump, Jr.

[‘Duh, but since I’m such a dumbass, duh, I didn’t take the time to think through the ramifications of my actions, duh, or any negative effect they might have on my father’s desire to become President of the US. Duh, I guess I’m essentially just a dumbass… oh, wait – I already said that, didn’t I? See what I mean?’]

SO THEN, if that’s little Donnie’s basic excuse for attending a meeting with a “Russian government attorney” who could provide the Trump campaign with “official documents and information” that were “very high level and sensitive” from “Russia, and its government’s support for Mr. Trump”, what kind of BS will Paul ‘Hawking’ Manafort and Jared “Einstein” Kushner claim were THEIR reasons for being there?

‘Well, duh, little Donnie is the President’s oldest son, see, and he’s not real bright, see, so when he told us he was about to meet with some Russians, duh, we went along to keep him from getting himself in any real trouble… as it turned out, duh, we were both really bored and Jared quickly got up & left, while I stuck around for about twenty minutes and played Candy Crush on my phone. This little Russian broad – not too bad, but no fashion model, I’d give her maybe a 6 – and her interpreter just wanted to yap about getting US sanctions against Russia lifted or something, duh, so that little Russkie kids could get adopted in the US again, duh. I don’t get what all the hoopla is about – Donnie shot the shit with her for about 20 minutes, duh, we patted her on the pussy, then put her back in the elevator & got back to the real work of getting Donald Sr. nominated at the convention.’

Or maybe: ‘Don Jr. sent me an email about some vague meet with an attorney that he thought might be important, so I gave Dad his afternoon valium and went to it, but when it turned out to be nothing, I left. Somebody has to keep an eye on Dad at all times, you know. Later on, after Paul told me he had spilled the beans to the FBI about it, I said, “Oh damn – I forgot all about that stupid meeting! I better go re-adjust my security clearance form again”, and that’s all there was to it.’

Of course, everybody knows that Donnie’s such a “high quality person” – you might even say a ‘tremendous’ person – that he would be totally transparent about the whole thing, after only lying about it twice and finding out that the NY Times was about to publish the actual emails. After all, his daddy says so, and he’s a complete paragon of truthfulness.

That’s evidently what the Wharton School of Business teaches all its graduates to be – paragons of truthfulness.

Kinda like Trump University…

HEY! When the hell are they going to put all these clowns under oath, along with all their little administrative minions, and scare the truth out of their lying asses under the penalty of perjury?


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